From: Cynthia E. Ashley (Article 1 in Retirement)
TRYING IS THE SUCCESS! In order to get well, we must first ask ourselves to "TRY" and face fear. Often, this is the hardest thing to do. Many will not "TRY" for fear that they will fail. If one is not willing to risk trying, one will remain staying in fear and not move forward. Think of the trying as the success. If all one asks of themselves is to "TRY", one can not fail...for the "TRYING" becomes the success. Any small effort towards trying to face fear becomes the acomplishment! Appreciate the fact that you tried. Whatever the baby step towards the ultimate goal; at least you TRIED! Make your first steps small. Start where you can succeed. Before you begin, ask yourself "Is this step manageable for me?" "Do I think I can do this first step?" If the answer is "no", then back up to a step that is doable. When you have finally found a starting point, begin there. (no matter how small the step) Eg: If you can't leave your home, your first step may only be to walk to the window and look out. If that is too easy, tweek it up a bit and walk to the front door and open it. If driving is your phobia, maybe just sitting in the car with it in park is the first place to start trying. You will know by how easy something is or how difficult. Keep practicing the first baby step until you can do it with little or no anxiety. If anxiety swells upon your first experience of trying, praise yourself for having the courage to TRY. DO NOT BECOME DISCOURAGED. You will soon learn that the "TRYING" IS THE SUCCESS! As the first steps of trying become easier, you will be ready to move on to the next step you set for yourself. This next step will be a little more difficult, but not overwhelming. Always ask yourself if it is a place where you can start without feeling too anxious. it is important to finish each step with a feeling of success rather than overwhelming oneself and feeling defeated. Know that it will be hard to look at a small step and appreciate this accomplishment! The mind will try to sabbatage you into thinking "I should have been able to do more!" Don't go there! A baby step at a time is exactly what you want to see! There will be times when you will feel confident enough to take a giant step. This too is wonderful and will feel more satisfying than the baby steps, however, the success is in the TRYING. It is not going to be how much you can do in these early stages, but how willing are you to just TRY. Praise yourself for the TRYING. IT TAKES GREAT COURAGE TO FACE FEAR. Most people without phobias would never willingly allow themselves to experience the intensity that you are willing to face just by "Trying". You are a brave soul! You CAN do this! Start where you can. Begin trying today and see how your life will begin to change for the better.